He had grown to live off attention now. It was all that seemed to calm down the fire in his body, the screaming need of his body and calling for sex. For two years now, he had been trying to understand it. The crying in his body for sex, why did he feel so uptight and hot all the time, that his body was suddenly made of lust and nothing else. Yet, it was all he could think about. All he could think about was sex, getting fucked, fucking someone over and over again. It was the only relief he got whenever he touched himself. He had only just turned fifteen, he was sure his body wasn’t suppose to be like this. Screaming for sex, screaming out to be attracted to someone to want someone. It was easier to pretend it wasn’t happening.
Sexuality was all new to him. He was coming to terms with the fact none of the girls he had messed around with for now just weren’t turning him on in the same way. That somehow, he still felt the need to have sex, he still wanted to be touched but he just didn’t like the idea of girls doing it. Of course, he would be the horniest teenager around and start to not like girls sexually. It seemed fitting for him that it would happen. That he would come out as gay. But there was still part of him that was confused.
He just wanted to know the answers to his body. Why he had this massive sex drive? Why did he have these feelings in his body? Or was this all just natural? And he wasn’t alone in this? If he didn’t even touch himself for a few days, his muscles and body hurt. It cramped and ached more than he thought a man’s body ever could.
Saige never realised the dangerous game he got himself into. The young boy had always been fond of his IT teacher. He enjoyed his class, he liked learning about computers and coding and often excelled and was top of the class. With his teacher, Mr Will Fowler, he had grown a bond with. Student, teacher, Saige often went to him if he needed help with other subjects or just needed a break from school life. For once in his school life, he did have friends. He had made a small group who didn’t forget about him or make constant jokes about him being in care. However Saige was not used to the idea of having friends after wanting it for so long. That perhaps this was finally where he was going to settle and live. That maybe this family would not just give him up like the last ones. But every day, he was worried he was going to go home and get a call from a social worker or have one there waiting to talk about his future. He dreaded that and finding out his teacher had been in care for a few years of his life, Saige couldn’t help but go to him if he needed to talk.
The downfall of not knowing what he really was had always been his lack of knowledge of pheromones. Saige knew nothing about what his body did to others. Why his libido was taking over his life and mind, why even if he didn’t want girls attracted to him, they always came for him. He didn’t know anything, and while he did have a small idea of what he was doing to the mind and body of his teacher, Saige didn’t know how far it was going to go. He’d be a liar if he never admitted that he wasn’t attracted to his teacher. The man was one of the younger teachers, a few years out of university, fresh faced and lively. Saige did always entertain himself with the idea of his teacher. Imagining him taking him into the supply cupboard or him hiding under the desk as he sucked him, it always helped his body to think on such things happening. Forbidden things that should have stayed as such.
Saige didn’t know what he had done to his teacher the one day he felt brave enough to bring up sexuality. The topic had plagued Saige’s mind since he had lost his interest in girls, yet couldn’t deny the way he had still enjoyed getting tossed off by Rebecca the other week. But when she asked him to touch her, he got out of the situation as fast as he could. School had always said to go to someone that they felt like they trusted if they needed to talk. For Saige, it made sense to ask Mr Fowler about accepting if he was gay or leaving it open and not worrying about his sexuality. Telling his teacher that he had wanted to know what being with a man felt like in terms of having his first boyfriend, being naive, he missed the way his teacher’s gaze changed. That when he left him to walk home, if he had waited or hesitated a moment longer, he would have had one of his secret desires come true then and there.
Secretly if he ever stayed behind for tutoring, he was no stranger to getting a lift home from his teacher. Saige wasn’t stupid, he knew if he was caught anywhere near his teacher’s car that Will would get reprimanded and he would get talked too about conduct. But they were careful. Saige didn’t know what it was, other than the thrill of his teacher taking him home, that he had a bond with a teacher that he knew other students had tried for. For Saige, it was simply that as soon as he wasn’t a student, he felt like he could actually call him a friend. That their closeness wouldn’t be so frowned upon, but Saige was fifteen and simply too naive to see the way his teacher had looked at him.
Talking about his camping trip happily, it was stupid that the only person he wasn’t embarrassed about talking about his Scout trips with was his teacher. He was stupidly proud of his badges and helping out with the other kids. Minus the screaming needs of his body, camping was his favourite hobby and being out in the wild was something he loved.
“No, I mean, having to dig a hole to shit in isn’t great. Some sites have toilets and stuff.”
Saige shrugged, smiling as Will laughed, almost back at his home, he always pulled up a few houses down just incase someone saw them.
“Language. Yeah, digging a hole to take a dump in sounds like a great holiday. Cramped tents and sweaty bags. No thanks, I’ll take Mallorca anyday.”
“Well, it’s not as if that can happen to me.”
Saige said bitterly, looking over at him before Will sighed, shaking his head.
“Saige, I know how you feel remember. It’s frustrating and sometimes disheartening, but all you need is to make a life for yourself when you can and give yourself the life you deserve.”
“I know, you tell me that every day almost.” Saige laughed lightly, looking up at Will, the man smiling charmingly at him. Saige always wondered if he was stupid for ever thinking if when he wasn’t a student, that maybe something could happen. Maybe that’s was what his body wanted. “I will.”
“Good. That’s all I want for you. It’s hard growing up like you have, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” Smiling to himself, he sighed when Will pulled up just from his house. He moved to get his bag from the back seat. “Oh wait, I got a band you need to listen too, you’ll like them a lot I think!”
Saige hadn’t turned around or moved when Will reached over him to the glove compartment. But his body froze at the contact. Eyes down as he saw Will had paused leaning over the gear box, aligned with his crotch, Saige moved to sit back down, unbuckling his seatbelt. He didn’t know what to do, what to say and ended up only sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. He couldn’t help but gasp when Will leaned down to kiss his crotch. In a moment, Will had reached over to him, his shirt pulled out from his trousers before he was unzipping them. His head spinning too quickly at what was happening, while his body was screaming out to be touched, his head was screaming to stop.
“Mr Fowler, I-”
“Shh.” Saige stared at him when he pressed his finger to his lips. He watched as Will leaned up, replacing his finger with his lips, but Saige had tried to move away. Seeing Will’s face flash with confusion for a moment. “I want to help you, okay. You’re confused and this will help.”
Only able to nod his head, Saige’s eyes were a deer in headlights, watching Will. As he moved his hands back to his trousers, Saige gasped again when his member was touched and his hand was circling his base and stroking him to full erection. Moving his hands away, Saige didn’t know what to do, his eyes fixed on his teacher, suddenly aware that he wasn’t in one of his dreams. He braced one hand on the car door when Will’s mouth had engulfed him. Letting out a shout of swear words, he didn’t know if should stop or not. That the feeling of his mouth had been the most relieving feeling he had ever felt since he first woke up with this feeling and yet, the feeling of being uncomfortable was greater. That he wasn’t sure if he did want this after all.
Shutting his eyes now, not sure what to do with himself. Feeling his member slide further into Will’s mouth, he was already feeling the build up and the tightening of his groin. Gasping and grasping at the car door and the seat with his hands, he let out a strained noise of a moan before coming into his teacher’s mouth. Eyes open wide again as he leaned over slightly in the seat, panting. Quickly pulling himself back into his pants and doing his trousers, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Will, turning to grab his bag from the back seat. In a flash and missing the way Will had tried to grab at him and make him stay for a moment, Saige was out of the car, practically running back to his house.
Fumbling with his house keys, trying to get them into the lock, his heart was racing and his body was screaming mixed emotions at him. His libido was happy, it was relieved. But yet, his mind and heart were confused. His mind was screaming at him how wrong it had been, that he shouldn’t have let his teacher do such a thing, he should have said something and not let him tell him that was it was right. His heart hurt thinking he felt used. Lead on. He was now just another one of those school kids in the news, groomed and used. Was that what was really happening here? Frustrated as he shut his bedroom door, ignoring his foster mother calling out for him, Saige let out a shaky breath, trying not to think on anything that happened. That it had happened at all. Though all he could think about was how great his mouth had felt around his cock. How amazing it felt to come like that. That night he gave himself one of the best orgasms he ever felt pulse through his body by his own hand.
Though when morning came and his foster mother’s voice flooded his door. He groaned at the thought of going to school. But the feelings in his body were still conflicting. It was waves of being uncomfortable, feeling as if he couldn’t go back and see Will. That he didn’t want to get into something he shouldn’t, something illegal and wrong. Yet, his body wanted more. All he could truly think about was how great Will’s mouth felt and how it had been what he wanted. Just not from Will. Eventually, he dragged himself from his bed however it was more of the threat from his mother if he didn’t get himself moving. She was the type of woman that would make you work even if you lost your arm and was bleeding, but she had been the first foster mother that Saige finally felt as if he belonged with. The woman had a heart of gold and four other children fostered. Plus the fact he had been living with her since he was thirteen also showed promise that he had finally found a home. Though even after two years, he was always hesitant to call anywhere home.
Saige knew he was occasionally the butt of his friend’s jokes for how shy he often was. He sometimes even stuttered his words when answering a question and blushed at any attention girls or boys alike gave him. But today, he was aware that his friends in class were staring at him worried. Saige felt sick now and words were eluding him. His body craving more touches from Will or at this rate, anyone. His groin felt tight, as if someone was pushing down on his body. His heart was conflicted. That he knew he had a crush on Will, why wouldn’t he? The teacher was good looking and mature. He had wet dreams over the thought of having the man take him. He just never expected that it could actually happen. Now he was just scared that it could become reality.
He shouldn’t be naive. Yet, it wasn’t about if he could avoid Will. But the thought of reporting him or even mentioning what happened made him even want to throw up. Giving him more confusion over what was right and what was wrong. Was he in the wrong? Had he said something to Will? Had he even lead his teacher on? Was he being groomed? Why did he just let him touch him? Why didn’t he say something?
Last period was IT. Saige almost had gone to the nurse, even his friends telling him he should think about going home, he knew he was looking paler than usual. He couldn’t focus and he wasn’t hungry. He didn’t want to talk to anyone today, as much as he didn’t want to sit and stay in his head, it was all he felt he could do today. He felt stupid for how shaky his body was now, the thought of seeing Will made his knees turn to jelly and yet made him want to hit the man for even touching him. And that was all he felt in that moment the class was called into the room. Anger. Taking his seat at the back of the class with his friends, he took shallow breaths, trying to keep his temper down. He felt every moment that Will was looking at him and Saige couldn’t bring himself to look up at the man without fearing he was going to scream at him.
He almost did when he heard the man call his name at the end, telling him to stay behind. Taking a deep breathe, he made his way to the front of the classroom, leaning against his desk as Will was sat in his chair looking up at him, waiting for the rest of the students to leave. Hearing the door shut after the last one, Saige had his arms folded over his chest, teeth in their usual perch in his bottom lip.
“Saige, you know why I’ve called you behind. Please, let me explain-”
“What is there to explain?” Saige found himself snapping at him. “You’ve wrecked my head and I don’t know what to do now.”
“Listen to me.”
“No, why the fuck should I? How dare you do that to me! I could get you arrested.”
“Saige, calm, keep your voice-”
“No!”
Saige stepped back as Will stood up now, for a moment stunted in surprise when Will grabbed his wrist and pulled him to his body. Staring up at the taller man, his eyes wide, Saige was quieted.
“I said; listen to me, Saige.” Pushed back against the desk now, his head was spinning with Will’s hand still on his wrist. The elder man leaned in closer to him, all Saige could focus on was the warmth of his body against his, the way the men smelt and how intoxicating it all was. But still, he knew he should stop this. He should push him away and tell someone what he was doing. He wanted this so badly yet he didn’t want it at all. “I don’t know what the hell you are doing to me. Why you have affected me like this? I know this is wrong, how wrong it is, but all I can think about is you. I want to look after you and care for you, be what you need.”
“Mr Fowler-”
“Will, for heaven's sake. Call me Will.”
“Will… I don’t know if I want this… If I want you.”
Saige’s voice was small as he looked up at him, feeling as if his throat was closing. His heart was pounding in his chest as he kept his eyes on Will’s face. Not even sure how he could keep his eyes on him. He wanted his words to ring truth with himself, yet he only found himself connecting to Will telling him that this was wrong. He was fifteen, why the hell did he need someone to look after him? He didn’t need anyone else.
His eyes flicked away from the man when he felt his fingers brush against his cheek. Sighing softly, he shut his eyes at the sight of the man leaning in further. Almost jumping when he pressed his lips to his gently. Saige was sure his legs were shaking and if not for being against his desk, he would have fallen. Will’s hand was on his wrist while his other rested on his neck.
“Yes, you do. Don’t be afraid of what could be Saige.” Keeping his eyes shut as he listened to him, he was startled, letting out a small noise when his legs were grabbed and he was sat on the edge of the desk. “We’re good for each other. I’ll help you.”
For once, he was at a loss for words. Not sure how to reply to him, but Saige didn’t realise how trapped he felt by Will. That he felt as if there was no reason to deny him. As he was kissed again, it became a decision his body took for him not to move, not to bother saying anything. As Will let go of his wrist, he felt his hand move down to his thigh. His eyes staying shut as he felt Will’s lips move across his cheek. He let out the smallest of gasps as his lips pressed against his neck. His body alight with small surges of excitement and yet his mind was washing him with anxiety and the need to run away.
The gentle kisses to his neck brought soft moans from his throat, his hand feeling hotter on his thigh as he felt it move up. Jumping only slightly from the resistance of opening his eyes when he felt his belt grabbed. Not sure what he was doing in a moment of self made naivety, his mouth opened slightly, hands grabbing at the edge of the desk. Listening to the sound of his belt being undone, his eyes finally opened when he was pulled closer, his thighs spread and his teeth started to press into his neck. His nerve endings felt on fire when his trousers were pulled open and Will lifted him slightly to pull them and his boxers down to his thigh. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Will’s face, biting on his lip, his eyes were elsewhere. On the ceiling, the whiteboard next to them, the desks on the other side.
Though his eyes shut again when Will’s hand wrapped around his erect member. Not even surprised that the suspense and anticipation got him hard, that whatever the hell it was that drove his sex drive through the roof, it was getting happy and satisfied again. He sighed at the feeling of his hand moving up his shaft, not even aware anymore that he wasn’t kissing at his neck. What Will was doing, not till his mouth was around the head of his member. Saige couldn’t stop the noise that came from him. A soft moan, vaguely aware of the fact he was still in school, he was in a classroom getting blown by his teacher. He couldn’t over the feeling, how good his mouth felt. How hot and wet and inviting it felt, even more as he felt Will take more of him again. This time not getting overworked by the suddenness, this time he could last and enjoy it.
With a few deep breaths, Saige felt himself start to come undone. Seeing Will could tell as the man sucked harder and Saige finally found himself looking down at the man. Staring as the man stayed in place when he came. Saige bringing his finger to his mouth and biting on it to avoid making too much noise. Letting out a shuddering breath when Will stepped away from him. Saige leaned over himself trying to catch his breath, trying to calm down the emotion going through his body. The pleasure that was numbing his body, the pain his chest that he had let this happen again and his brain trying to convince him that nothing was wrong.
He jumped slightly when his cheeks were cupped and Will’s lips were back against his. Practically falling against the man’s chest as he hugged him, feeling his hand gripping him at his neck.
“You’ll be legal at the end of the year in the eyes of the law, and we can work this out between us. Saige, I need you, I want you. And I know you want me, you’re just afraid to admit it because I’m your teacher. We can be together.”
Saige didn’t get time to reply before Will was bringing his face back up to kiss him again. Not sure what to even say to him, Saige gave him the smallest of smiles for now as an answer. Though the nagging voice in the back of his head was telling him what he should say to him.
*
// Few weeks later.
Saige sometimes wondered if he was just in too deep now. If that was the reason why he stayed in this relationship with Will. Admittedly, he still had moments of great uncomfort with the man. That sometimes there was just something that made him want to run away and hide. Yet, his desires and the way he touched him always brought him back. What he said always brought him back to him. Like moments like this. Sitting in Will’s house, huddled up on his sofa watching the latest horror film with him while his foster mother thought he was at a friends. Will’s hand gently rubbing his neck as Saige had grown to associate with Will as a sign of affection. He did during school times, subtly as he walked past him in class often.
But now they were a secret. Saige almost laughed at himself at times. He was a dirty little secret. He was having a relationship, underaged and with his teacher. They went out on dates to the next town over, Saige stayed behind after class and they touched each other. He’d lie to his foster mother and tell him he was at a friends but he was here having dinner. But this time he had gone one step further and told her he was staying over someone’s house. Saige’s naivety still being his downfall, not realising that Will had been pushing him back into a corner again to make him lie to her.
He squealed playfully when Will grabbed at his hips and pulled him in for a hug. Sighing as the man nestled his way between his legs, leaning down and pressing his lips to his. Saige leaned up into the man, his hands resting at his waist. Knowing he was just kidding himself in times like this. Thinking they were simple, normal couple. That he wasn’t underage, he wasn’t a student and dating his teacher. That times like this, when Will was cuddling up to him and loving, Saige almost wanted to admit that he was happy.
“You know why I wanted you to stay over finally?”
Saige hummed as he looked up at Will looking a little confused. The man smiling brightly at him as he kissed his cheek.
“No, but I guess you’re gonna tell me?”
“Tomorrow is Valentine's day and of course, I want to spend with the boy who is slowly but surely capturing my heart.”
“Oh how romantic. What, are we gonna sneak around in the next town over again?”
Saige replied sarcastically to the man. Though part of him couldn’t help it, how his attitude was at times. That Will was alway so optimistic about this relationship and then wondered why he was always so unsure. Saige had considered that he’d be better off trying to break this off and move on, but every time he considered it, it felt like Will knew. That Will was already waiting to whisper more sweet nothing in his ear that made him change his mind. Part of Saige knew quickly that he hated hearing Will talk to him about his feelings.
Though, it was clear his comment had annoyed Will. He saw the small flare of anger in his eyes before it was quickly gone. The man smiling again as he leaned down and kissed him.
“No… Saige, I want to send a day with you here. Cook you dinner, treat you all nice and lovely.”
“Then drop me home to my foster mother?”
“Stop it.”
Saige looked away from him when Will snapped at him. Knowing he pulled those words on him more than once, but for him, it was just simply a reminder of the fact he was still only a teenager. He was still his student and being here in his home, while pretending to be elsewhere was stupid and wrong of them both.
“You don’t think I know, Saige? How wrong this is? Yet, here we are, happy and together. We can’t be perfect, but one day we will.”
He couldn’t help but shut his eyes feeling his fingers trace along his neck, a shiver running through his body. There was always something about the way Will touched him. He was so delicate and careful, Saige found himself almost whining at the way he touched him. Will had the power to satisfy him and yet completely and utterly turn him into a lusting mess.
“I’m sorry, it’s so crazy to think this is happening sometimes.”
Saige’s voice was small and quiet as he looked up at Will again. The man’s face was soft and loving, enough that it made Saige’s stomach flip but not from butterflies. He didn’t know what it was.
“I really want to give you a special Valentine's.”
“Yeah?”
Saige’s smile grew as he looked up at him, he could see something was on Will’s mind that he wanted to say. He let his fingers slowly move along the man’s waist, laughing lightly when he leaned in and gave him another kiss.
“Do you… Think you’re ready?”
For a moment, his breath stopped. As one of his Will’s hands still stroked his neck, his other was resting on his hip. Opening his mouth, he didn’t know what to say. What to say without lying to some part of himself. His body wanted it, his body was screaming for it. Every time they fooled around and Will did press his fingers into him, he was practically crying at the thought of having sex finally. But rationally, it wasn’t a case of being ready but that he knew he just didn’t want to have his first time with Will.
“I don’t know.”
Was all he could reply, surprised when Will was still smiling at him. The man moved off of him, standing up now and urging him to stand too. His hand pulled into his, Saige frowned confused as he was practically dragged into the hallway of his home. In a flash, Will’s lips were pressed back against his, hand on his neck while the other was back on his hips. Two places where he was surprised he didn’t have grooves from his fingers just yet.
Saige sighed through his nose, hands resting on Will’s waist. Almost not in control of his body anymore at the feeling of his tongue pushing past his lips and into his mouth. Feeling his tongue tease his own, he leaned more into the man. He couldn’t help but pull away from him, staring up with a small gasp escaping his lips as Will’s hand brushed over his crotch. Gently cupping his member, he saw the seductive smirk on Will’s lips. Feeling his knees weaken as his heartbeat increased, he could feel his blood flow shift downwards.
“Yes, yes you do.”
Saige didn’t say anything to him, just smiled when Will took his hand again, leading down down the hallway and to the stairs. It wasn’t Saige’s fault he didn’t see everything that Will was trying to hide from him and the extent he had gone to it. That all the photographs from the wall and sides were gone and hidden. Any female or touches of a child were gone from sight and Will hadn’t worn his wedding ring since the moment he had laid his eyes on Saige. A wife that was part of a cruise ship entertainment crew, she was often gone for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes taking their son or leaving him with the mother-in-law. It was far too easy for Will to switch his emotions off for her and focus on Saige.
It was all he could ever think about. Saige flooded his mind every moment of the day, ever since he saw him and found himself attracted to the boy. He had to try and get to know him. When the boy was best in the class, it made it all too easy. Praising him every moment he got, giving him constant feedback and confidence to come and talk with him. When Saige had started to open up to him, enough that he trusted him to talk about sexuality, Will knew there was no turning back now. He needed Saige, he had to have him. He was intoxicating. Will didn’t know what it was, the boy was gorgeous there was no denying that. He couldn’t wait to see what he was going look like as he matured. He hoped after this night, it would make him his.
Saige was quiet, walking up the stairs behind him. When he opened his bedroom door, his heart was pounding in his chest before he followed him in. For a second, stunned at the sight. Staring at the bed covered in rose petals, the light scent of rose even in the air. The smile pulled at his lips as Will cupped his cheek and pressed his lips to his. Grabbed at his hips, Saige jumped with a small squeal, wrapping his legs around Will’s waist before the man laid him down on his bed. Will’s face bright with excitement, Saige couldn’t help but mirror it, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.
Even with Will, it had never felt like this before. When Will kissed him, took his time to undress him, to admire him and cherish his body, Saige wanted to hide at the feeling it gave him. In his mind, he was still unsure but now convinced it was simply too late to stop and unfair on Will, the feeling it was giving his body was worth it. That the fire inside his body that had been stirred up was slowly getting put out.
Sighing happily as Will’s mouth moved over his member, when he stopped, he looked down at him, seeing he was clearly thinking. Saige sat up slightly, on his elbows, biting on his lip as he looked at him.
“Turn over and prop your rear in the air, okay?”
Saige nodded his head, doing what he said, keeping his eyes on him and realising quickly that the man was reaching over to the bedside table for lube and a condom. His stomach lurched at the sight and realisation. That he was about to lose his virginity to his teacher, a man who was well over ten years older than him, a man he wasn’t even sure if he could convince himself that he was going to fall in love with.
He jumped at the feeling of coldness. Feeling his finger press between his cheeks and against his entrance, Saige hide his face in his arms, gasping slightly as Will gently pressed his finger inside him. Cursing gently, feeling his head lighten, he was biting on his arm when he felt him already press another finger into him. It was a strange mix of pleasure and slight pain in his body, as Will moved his fingers, gently stretching him, working at his muscle. He could feel himself start to relax more. Not even realising for a second, he was starting to press back against his fingers. Only when he heard Will chuckle, he realised he was gasping for breath at the pleasure that was taking over now, that there was a thin line of sweat on his forehead.
“You’re so beautiful, all for me.” He heard Will whisper before the man moved. The bed shifting slightly as if it was physically making his stomach shift. Biting at his arm again, he tried to make himself relax more, when Will’s hands moved over his waist and down to hips, before he felt him grope at his butt. For a moment, Saige almost did finally do what his gut was telling him. To turn around and stop this. To tell him that he didn't want this. But as he felt Will’s cock rub against his entrance, Saige’s reaction became involuntary. Moaning at the feeling, the desire in his body. His body seemed alight again, the feeling he had been trying to get rid off and satisfy only grew more till the moment that he felt Will’s cock press into him. “Oh fuck.”
Saige’s face was frozen. His breath was caught in his chest, his hands gripped at the bed sheet. His mouth frozen open, as he felt Will’s cock slowly press into him. Into his body, he finally let out a noise. Whining and groaning at the way he was stretched, the way it burned and felt as if he was being torn. He shook his head, trying to gasp for breath but the pain wouldn’t let him. He could feel his legs start to shake from it, the uncomfortable pain that didn’t end. Will’s hand gripped at his hip tightly. Saige felt trapped again, but this time Will had taken what he wanted from him.
“You’re so tight, fuck, I should have prepared you more.”
Only whimpering in reply to the man, Saige’s face was bright red. Trying to press himself into the duvet, he only recalled what his friends had said about their first times. It always hurt, it was always uncomfortable at first. It would pass, it would be okay. Will wouldn’t purposely hurt him. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He wouldn’t go to this effort, to cover the place in petals and show him he cared.
“I’m gonna start moving, really slowly okay. Help you get used to the feeling.”
“No, wait.”
Saige snapped back at him and had reached back to try and stop him, but Will didn’t. Instead, his hips were grabbed as Will was determined to start thrusting shallowly into him. Gasping for air now, his hand that had reached for Will, was back grabbing at the bed sheet. Clenching his teeth and trying to think of anything else but the burning pain in his rear. He was sure he had never put this much focus into something else in his life, trying to get through the pain, waiting for the moment it would fade. Yet, he only felt Will push himself further inside him and harder.
Groaning again, what finally broke the pain was feeling Will’s hand move over his stomach. Move down his chest to slowly stroke his member. Not even realising that he wasn’t even hard anymore, it was when Will finally stopped moving his hips for a moment and kept stroking him that Saige found himself finally finding pleasure. This time pushing his hips back against Will, he finally moaned at the feeling when he thrusted his hips again. Something within his body screaming out in pleasure at the feeling. That all along, this had been what he needed to stop the cravings, the pain, not feeling human.
He wasn’t hiding his face anymore in the bedsheet, thrusting back gently onto Will when he could, moaning at the feeling of his hand on his member. Saige was practically lost to the feelings of bliss in his body. The quenching of whatever it was that had been there since he was thirteen and yet, it was more than just that. It was being with Will, the way the man held him and whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Even if Saige was still far too naive and young to see what the man was really doing to him, Saige was convinced in this moment, this was what he wanted.
He whined when Will pulled out but he man was quick to flip him over, grabbing his hips and pulling him back down to him. Saige tried to catch his breath, looking up at him, watching as the man pulled off the condom he had on. Leaning over him, Saige moaned as the man had his hand back around his member and his own. Reaching out, he grabbed onto the man’s shoulders, his head light before his back arched and he came. Coming over his chest, Saige felt his body shake, the pleasure taking a hold of him, not even sure if he was moaning or shouting. His head back against the bedsheet before hearing Will give a shout before feeling him release on his chest and try to catch his breath.
Saige sighed, lying back, his body spent in that moment. Yet, for a moment, he couldn’t believe the likening feeling of peace that washed over his body. He finally felt the urge, the craving and desire gone. It was finally gone and it felt fucking great. Smiling to himself, he shut his eyes for a moment, listening as Will moved around the room. Not sure what to do with himself or if he should even bother moving at all. He jumped, gasping lightly when he felt a wash cloth on his body, looking slightly flushed as Will laughed. Cleaning up his chest before he made a move to pull the duvet from under him. Saige shifting to allow him to do it. Suddenly he felt himself start to tense again slightly. As Will got in the bed with him, Saige felt the uncomfortable nagging in his body come back.
Pulled to his chest as he laid down. Saige laid his head on his chest, Will’s arm coming up around his shoulder and yet, his fingers still could stroke and touch at his neck like he always did. For a brief second, the overwhelming urge to cry washed over Saige. Realising he had just lost his virginity, lost to his teacher, a much older man. Someone he didn’t love, someone he wasn’t even sure cared about him in the way he made out… Saige couldn’t fight the feeling, his hands clenched, not relaxing against Will. He was so stupid. He was an idiot. Yet, he was sure still, somewhere in his mind that he did want this. As Will kissed him goodnight on the forehead, Saige wasn’t sure when he eventually drifted off to sleep.
//
All his friends constantly commented on the fact he was getting quieter than usual. But for Saige, he had a stupid fear if he got into too casual of conversation that he’d accidentally mention Will. Will was the last thing he constantly wanted to think about and have on his mind. Will only made him regret more and more even talking to the man on a personal level. That he’d even gave him one ounce of his trust, enough that he lost his virginity to him. Yet, as soon as those thoughts flooded his mind, he couldn’t help but be reminded of how nice it felt when Wil held him, when he would cook him dinner or buy him something sweet. That Will always knew what to do or say to make him feel better. Now though, Saige knew he wanted what he had with Will just with someone else. Someone his age, someone he could just have fun with and not feel so wrong.
And well, there was someone Saige did find himself growing close too in his friend group. A boy named Ryan. That since had come out to them, him and Ryan had grown closer and Saige knew he was being flirted with. But every time they were out and around in school for lunch or sat next to each other in class his phone was quickly blown up by Will. Asking if he wanted to come over for dinner, if he wanted to go see a movie, if he wanted to stay behind after class with him. The worst time was when Will sent him dick pictures or a picture of them together. Asking why he wasn’t thinking of him, when he was happy with him. When he could give him what he wanted. It had only been two weeks since Valentines, and Saige felt now that he was truly owned by Will.
It was hard to avoid him at times. The man always texted him when he was out on his own or especially when he was with Ryan. He had tried not to ever tell Will too much about what he was doing if he could be with Will. Usually telling him he had a meeting with a social worker or something with his foster family couldn’t be argued with. But slowly it was getting to Saige. That he had to lie to a man, his teacher. A man who was convinced they could be in a relationship and had once convinced him of him. Saige knew it was all wrong now, when he felt too afraid to even mention the idea of ‘breaking up’, he knew it was too late to change anything that had happened. Not without going to someone about Will, telling the head teacher what he was doing, telling the police… Saige wholeheartedly wanted to avoid that.
The moment he knew he had to try and get away from Will was almost the day he did go to the police. Sitting in his home like he did on average every other weekend. He had been minding his own business, watching some TV show Will liked, his hand stroking at his neck as usual before Will cleared his throat, trying to get his attention. Saige watched as he took his phone out and pulled up a picture. Unable to breathe, he stared at it, suddenly not feeling as if he existed in his body. Fear overwhelming him before hearing Will asking him to explain. Staring at the picture of him from the other week, out with Ryan in the town, Ryan had kissed him. Saige had been happy about it. Saige had held his hand home and even begged him to stay for dinner.
But how could he explain himself? That he wanted to be with Ryan, he wanted to be without this stupid commitment to his teacher. He couldn’t say anything, instead, his jaw grabbed and he was forced to look at Will.
“After everything I’ve done for you? Saige, do you not care about me?”
And God, how he wished he had the confidence and bravery to be honest with him. Instead, Saige smiled at him. At least, he did hoping it would stop him when he moved his hand to his neck.
“Of course I care about you. I’m sorry Will.”
Saige lied through his teeth to him, enough to satisfy the man. Yet, the next time at school, he had noticed the effort Will had gone to make sure that Ryan wasn’t in any of his classes anymore and constantly got put into detention. Yet, while all his friends gushed over how cute he’d be with Ryan, he ended up spending more and more breaks and lunches in Will’s classroom. Just how the man wanted.
//
He knew he needed to do something, anything now. Feeling alienated from his friends, Will had just how he wanted him. Alone and yet still pretending everything was fine and happy. But Saige hated it sometimes. That there were days when Will was incredibly sweet to him, that he made him laugh and treated him like he was precious to him. But that didn’t overweight the days when he felt trapped, back into a corner and forced to stay at his home and not even allowed his phone in case he spoke to someone other than his foster mother. Now, he was becoming worried about what was going on when he hadn’t agreed to stay at Will’s one night, yet he woke up the next morning in his bed as if that was the most normal occurance of his life.
Saige had done what he did most nights. Now the Easter holidays, it was two weeks for Will to constantly harass him and still alienate him from everything he knew. He had protested today that there was no way that he was staying over Will’s. His only problem was he was running out of excuses to not stay over. That he couldn’t keep saying he had to help his foster dad with something, that he had a social worker meeting. And he didn’t dare see what happened if he mentioned seeing friends. But tonight, Will seemed to have agreed that he would drive him home later on. Saige wasn’t sure if he believed him but Saige wasn’t to know about what he was putting in his drink. That it was worse than the fact Will was forcing him to drink alcohol with him.
At first, drinking alcohol had been a stupid teenage thing. That he could do such a thing and not get in trouble, but Will had taken it one step too far. That it was all Will did. Took what he had enjoyed and took it one step too far. As he made dinner for him and placed down a glass of vodka and mixer for him. Saige had smiled at him as if he appreciated it.
Though after drinking and eating, Saige realised how heavy his eyes felt. Suddenly he was struggling to stay awake, to stare at the TV and keep his focus. Shaking his head, he looked at Will.
“Will, je ne me sens pas bien.”
Saige didn’t even realise that he was speaking French. Only saying what was on his mind and with the fact he still thought in French, he was surprised he didn’t speak French more by accident. Though seeing Will look at him confused, he only looked confused back at him.
“Was that French?”
“Je suis Français... à moitié.” Laughing before he groaned, he put his head in his hand. Rubbing his eyes. “Pourquoi suis-je fatigué? Pouvez-vous me ramener chez moi?”
“I don’t know what you’re saying, Saige.”
“Je veux aller à la maison.”
He whined, moving to look at Will. Still trying to fight how tired he was, sighing when Will held his neck. He couldn’t even suppress a shiver through his body when Will shushed him, pressing his lips to his neck. Staring at the man, eventually he gave into his body. Shutting his eyes, he was asleep.
Will waited, he knew how long it would take from a trial he did the other day. Making sure his body could cope, that he wouldn’t have a reaction or bad effect to the drugs. In Will’s mind, he saw nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all with what he was doing. All he saw was just making sure Saige was his. Gripping the boy’s face, he slapped him gently on his cheeks to make sure he was fully asleep before he reached for his phone in his pocket, almost sorry for how easy it was to text his foster mother and have Saige for the night.
Text sent, the man stood, grabbing at the boy’s waist, putting him over his shoulder before carrying him upstairs to his room. Trying to calm the sadistic smirk on his lips.
//
The next day when he woke up at Will’s, the pain in his groin was overbearing. His rear was throbbing with pain and feeling as if someone had punched his gut. And for once, it wasn’t because of lack of sex. He couldn’t explain it, only getting more distressed the first time he had gone to the bathroom and seen the traces of blood on his thighs. Trying to rationalise it all in his head. He only knew Will did something. That’s why he was tired, that was why he woke up here, that was why he hurt and he couldn’t say anything. He just didn’t want to admit it. He had never been more afraid in his life. That he was afraid he would never get away from Will or there would always be a part of him that would convince himself to stay.
//
Saige didn’t know why today of all days, Will was blowing up his phone. He could only guess it was probably because his friends were determined to see him more and have him hanging out with them again, Ryan had told him that he missed him and today was the only day he didn’t have a class with Will. With his friends, it had also been the first day since the first time he was with Will, over two months ago that he felt almost normal. Joking and laughing, he was happy with his friends to pretend nothing was wrong.
But his phone was still going off. Eventually getting it taken away in class when he accidentally forgot to turn his ringtone off. He was almost thankful for that, but knew Will would get pissy with him later over it. For the rest of the day, he thought nothing over it. Glad to have nothing to distract him and for once, could focus on his friends. Though towards the end of the day, when the school counselor came in and called him out of class, he couldn’t help but frown, following her out.
As he was led out, he realised quickly they were going towards the deputy’s office. Feeling his mouth dry as he was taken in, the counselor sat him down before the desk before she leaned back on it. Saige’s stomach dropping when she was handed his phone with a worried look on her face. He was trying not to panic, not to be sick or even pass out.
“You know that we don’t mean to pry into your business, but due to your circumstance we can’t afford to ignore any calls or messages you get. Especially in this succession…”
Saige didn’t even realise he wasn’t breathing, looking at the counselor, seeing she was struggling for words. What to say to him or ask him.
“Saige, how do you know Mr Fowler? What is the nature of your relationship?”
He could barely feel a thing, he had never felt so numb in his life. Staring at her as she showed him his phone. Will sending him a picture of them together, when they actually seemed like a perfect couple. A comment about being better for him than Ryan. But he knew what else they might have seen if they scrolled up. That there were plenty of times that he had been persuaded to take indecent pics that he regretted deeply.
Saige couldn’t speak to them, that for so long, he had wanted this to come to light. For someone to know and get him out of this relationship. Now it was out in the open, he couldn’t speak or say anything, a fear in the back of his mind about Will. A stupid fear that he couldn’t fight.
“Anything you say here, doesn’t have to go beyond this room. This can stay between us or go to a higher power, only if you want it too.”
His eyes flicked to the deputy head, looking at her, seeing the sympathy on her face. It was so clear in her eyes it almost hurt to look at her. But Saige still couldn’t bring himself to speak, that he wanted to tell him exactly what he wanted. He wanted Will out of his life and to be left alone now. That was all he wanted and he finally had the chance to have that. Shaking gently in the seat, he felt the tears breach his eyes, trying to force himself to say something. When only a weak noise escaped him, he covered his mouth embarrassed.
“Can April be here, I need her?”
Finally he managed to speak. Finding it the only thing he wanted in that moment, he wanted to talk to his foster mother. The only foster mother he had actually felt close with, that he considered himself forming a bond with. After living with her for almost three years, he knew she had been the only person to notice his little mannerisms that he had formed from being with Will. She noticed he was quieter, she noticed that he was becoming skittish around others. It was the only time he felt bad for lying about what was happening when she asked.
“Of course, sweetie.”
In a moment, he was told she was on her way. Trying to keep the flood of tears that was waiting to spill over. Taking his phone back and looking at all the messages Will had sent to him. The pushy demanding ones, the loved up ones, the ones that Saige had turned a blind eye too. Eventually when April had come, Saige wasn’t sure if it did make him feel any better about talking about this or not. If he wanted to admit the truth or keep telling himself it was just a normal relationship. That he was happy with Will.
Looking up at the concern on April’s face, he almost did finally break down. Her hand moving over his shoulders in a soothing motion. He finally swallowed and decided to talk.
“You know, when I said I was at someone else’s house all those times? Staying over, for dinner and stuff. Especially in the holidays?” When she nodded, he looked towards the councilor. “I was at Mr Fowler’s house.”
He quickly pulled up a message on his phone that he guessed would easily explain it. One where Will had constantly gone on about when he was legal, when he was out of school and wasn’t his student anymore. That for now, nothing mattered but their happiness together. Saige handed his phone to April before she passed it over.
“Saige, what did Mr Fowler, what did he do-”
“We had sex.” He answered the councilor, shutting his eyes for the moment at the sound of April’s breathing. Feeling her grip on his shoulder tighten. “If that’s what you want to know.”
“Saige… These messages… We have to press charges against him for this. You’re underage, he’s a teacher. What if he’s done this before!?”
“What about his wife?”
“Wife?”
Saige repeated weakly, feeling the colour drain from his face. Looking between the faces of his deputy and councillor. A wife? Will had a wife? He couldn’t even rack his brain for any sources of her. No pictures, no ring, no mention. Well, obviously he hadn’t cared about her, not when he was busy with him.
“Oh god, he went that far.” He heard the deputy mutter, his body feeling more numb than it already was. As if he was truly experiencing an out of body experience. “Saige, we need to call the police and get a statement written by you. Are you okay to do that?”
“Yeah, I want too.”
He muttered weakly, sighing as April wrapped her arms around him, whispering, asking why he hadn’t told her.
//
Saige had never felt so numb in his life. He had barely felt anything since being in her office. Seeing the police and writing down everything that had happened. From the first moment in his car to the last moment he recalled. But it had only gotten worse, being told there was images of him on Will’s laptop. Ones he wasn’t aware of, that existed. He knew what he had done for Will. The man making him pose naked for him but then there was the images that even made him sick. He had a choice to know, but from waking up at Will’s when he didn’t want too and the pain the next morning, he had to see them and see what happened to him.
Part of him regretted seeing them and part of him was just glad to know the extend of what the man had done to him in a strange way. Though the way April had cried set off an anger in him that he knew would only be fulfilled if he could ever hit the man or worse, kill him. Seeing what Will had done to him while he was asleep that he found out Will admitted to drugging him, the only thing that made everything worse was the fact his body was still full to brim with desire. That no matter what he saw, from Will fucking him asleep with a dildo to seeing the man attempted to fist him, the desire was still there. No matter how much it hurt, he still needed sex.
He had barely left his room. Not allowed back at school, not wanting to even leave the house. When his bedroom door cracked open and his younger foster sibling, Jack came in. Saige put on a brave face for him, the boy coming over and cuddling his side. Seeing the film, The Aristocats held in his hands, Saige laughed ever so lightly. The sound even foreign to his throat before he urged the boy to put it on. Getting comfortable on his bed with Jack lying on him, for the first time in weeks, he could honestly say something made him feel slightly happy.
//
He wasn’t sure if for now that he could think of any way that his life could return to normal. When a friend checked on him the other day, Saige didn’t have the guts to talk to him and go about life as if nothing had gone on, thankfully April covered for him. Though finding out it was Ryan hurt slightly. That whatever could have happened with Ryan was completely out of the picture. The trial wasn’t helping. Having to sit in a courtroom and listen to Will’s defense try and paint him as some seductive minx that had lured Will in, Saige had learnt to be able to turn the numbness in his body on and off when he wanted it. Eventually he got fourteen years and put on the sex offenders register. Though Saige didn’t find himself caring that much in the end. All he cared about was being away from Will. The worst part was Will’s wife. She had screamed at him, she had attacked him. She blamed him. Apparently corrupting her perfect husband. Saige had watched as April almost got arrested for hitting her.
That night all the family sat in the living room. Saige had Jack in his lap while his foster sister was happily playing with his hair. Eventually during the day, April had told him to go wait in his room, Saige’s knees almost gave out on the stairs. He had expected to see his social worker in his bedroom waiting for him. Instead, he fell down by his wall, knees to his chest, hiding his face. Not caring anymore for feeling pathetic and weak to hide away like this.
When April came in, he didn’t look up. Seeing her sit opposite him, her hand on his shoulder.
“Now Saige, I need you to listen to me. I’m gonna upset you and I’m so sorry... You can’t stay here anymore, it won’t be good for you to stay here. You need a fresh start.”
“No, no I don’t.” Saige didn’t care anymore about not crying. Looking up at April, he couldn’t even stop the tears if he tried. “Please don’t April, please don’t.”
“Sweetheart, you can’t stay in this town. I can’t look after you anymore, it pains me to say it but I can’t give you the care you need to move forward. I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can! Please, you’re the first carer who hasn’t given me up within a year, please April. I like it here, I have friends, I have a home, I have you and Jack. Please.”
When she reached out to his face, cupping his cheeks, giving a vain attempt to wipe away his tears. Saige could feel he was shaking, terrified more than ever. That he was losing everything now, he had lost a school he enjoyed, a group of friends he actually liked, he had lost his self respect to Will and now he was losing the only home that had ever felt like he was in a family.
“I’m talking to your social worker, I have a sister who specialises in looking after kids who have been through circumstances like you… She can give you the care you need, she can make sure that you get any help you need and that you’re looked after…”
“I need you, April. I need you and Jack, I’ll be okay.”
“Sweetheart, you won’t. You can’t stay in this town, you can’t even go back to that school. I need to know you’ll be okay and that’s not here, with me. I wish I could feel that you staying here with me is the right thing, but I know it isn’t.”
“Please don’t give me away.” Saige whispered, finding himself chanting it when April pulled him to her chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he didn’t know what else to do. That his life here had been ruined over what had been a small crush on a teacher. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare say that word, you have nothing to sorry for, this isn’t your fault. I’m trying to do what is best for you now, even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t feel like the right decision at first. It’ll make you feel like crap and you’ll feel alone and scared again, but Saige, I need to know you’re away from here and safe. That’s why I’m trying to at least get you sent to my sister, someone familiar.” Saige was still crying, staring down at the ground as he leaned on April. “I feel like I’ve let you down and I need to do something to make it right… That I couldn’t tell, I didn’t know…”
“I wanted to tell you, but I thought it was okay. I could handle it.”
“I know, I know. He was a bastard for making you think that was normal.”
Saige sighed, finally calming down slightly. Refusing to think anymore on the fact that within a few months or even a few weeks, he would be off to another family. If he was that lucky. Leaning away from April, he rubbed at his puffy eyes, April kissing his forehead before leaving his room. Yet, he found himself breaking down again as soon as his door shut.
Not sure how time passed before it opened again, Saige seeing Jack walk in and immediately the small boy crawled into his lap. Saige didn’t know what to do to stop crying in front of the boy, seeing the concern on his face as he reached out to him, grabbing his cheeks. Saige gave him a small laugh and a smile, telling him he was okay, that everything was going to alright. Yet even when the boy went back to his room for bed, he heard him in the night come back to see him and sleep with him, promising to make him smile again. Saige had never cried himself to sleep before.
//
But quicker than he thought he was told about his new family. Even more surprisingly was finding out they lived in America. That they were able to foster him. But Saige just kept himself numb, not wanting to think on the moment Jack would realise that he wouldn’t ever come home again, if his friends would ever notice that he was gone or if they would ever know what really happened to him. Though in Saige’s mind, he was already convincing himself that everything that had happened was what he had wanted. Everything was consensual and loving. That he was the problem. That he was the problem child some had painted him to be. It was far easier to swallow.
Sexuality was all new to him. He was coming to terms with the fact none of the girls he had messed around with for now just weren’t turning him on in the same way. That somehow, he still felt the need to have sex, he still wanted to be touched but he just didn’t like the idea of girls doing it. Of course, he would be the horniest teenager around and start to not like girls sexually. It seemed fitting for him that it would happen. That he would come out as gay. But there was still part of him that was confused.
He just wanted to know the answers to his body. Why he had this massive sex drive? Why did he have these feelings in his body? Or was this all just natural? And he wasn’t alone in this? If he didn’t even touch himself for a few days, his muscles and body hurt. It cramped and ached more than he thought a man’s body ever could.
Saige never realised the dangerous game he got himself into. The young boy had always been fond of his IT teacher. He enjoyed his class, he liked learning about computers and coding and often excelled and was top of the class. With his teacher, Mr Will Fowler, he had grown a bond with. Student, teacher, Saige often went to him if he needed help with other subjects or just needed a break from school life. For once in his school life, he did have friends. He had made a small group who didn’t forget about him or make constant jokes about him being in care. However Saige was not used to the idea of having friends after wanting it for so long. That perhaps this was finally where he was going to settle and live. That maybe this family would not just give him up like the last ones. But every day, he was worried he was going to go home and get a call from a social worker or have one there waiting to talk about his future. He dreaded that and finding out his teacher had been in care for a few years of his life, Saige couldn’t help but go to him if he needed to talk.
The downfall of not knowing what he really was had always been his lack of knowledge of pheromones. Saige knew nothing about what his body did to others. Why his libido was taking over his life and mind, why even if he didn’t want girls attracted to him, they always came for him. He didn’t know anything, and while he did have a small idea of what he was doing to the mind and body of his teacher, Saige didn’t know how far it was going to go. He’d be a liar if he never admitted that he wasn’t attracted to his teacher. The man was one of the younger teachers, a few years out of university, fresh faced and lively. Saige did always entertain himself with the idea of his teacher. Imagining him taking him into the supply cupboard or him hiding under the desk as he sucked him, it always helped his body to think on such things happening. Forbidden things that should have stayed as such.
Saige didn’t know what he had done to his teacher the one day he felt brave enough to bring up sexuality. The topic had plagued Saige’s mind since he had lost his interest in girls, yet couldn’t deny the way he had still enjoyed getting tossed off by Rebecca the other week. But when she asked him to touch her, he got out of the situation as fast as he could. School had always said to go to someone that they felt like they trusted if they needed to talk. For Saige, it made sense to ask Mr Fowler about accepting if he was gay or leaving it open and not worrying about his sexuality. Telling his teacher that he had wanted to know what being with a man felt like in terms of having his first boyfriend, being naive, he missed the way his teacher’s gaze changed. That when he left him to walk home, if he had waited or hesitated a moment longer, he would have had one of his secret desires come true then and there.
Secretly if he ever stayed behind for tutoring, he was no stranger to getting a lift home from his teacher. Saige wasn’t stupid, he knew if he was caught anywhere near his teacher’s car that Will would get reprimanded and he would get talked too about conduct. But they were careful. Saige didn’t know what it was, other than the thrill of his teacher taking him home, that he had a bond with a teacher that he knew other students had tried for. For Saige, it was simply that as soon as he wasn’t a student, he felt like he could actually call him a friend. That their closeness wouldn’t be so frowned upon, but Saige was fifteen and simply too naive to see the way his teacher had looked at him.
Talking about his camping trip happily, it was stupid that the only person he wasn’t embarrassed about talking about his Scout trips with was his teacher. He was stupidly proud of his badges and helping out with the other kids. Minus the screaming needs of his body, camping was his favourite hobby and being out in the wild was something he loved.
“No, I mean, having to dig a hole to shit in isn’t great. Some sites have toilets and stuff.”
Saige shrugged, smiling as Will laughed, almost back at his home, he always pulled up a few houses down just incase someone saw them.
“Language. Yeah, digging a hole to take a dump in sounds like a great holiday. Cramped tents and sweaty bags. No thanks, I’ll take Mallorca anyday.”
“Well, it’s not as if that can happen to me.”
Saige said bitterly, looking over at him before Will sighed, shaking his head.
“Saige, I know how you feel remember. It’s frustrating and sometimes disheartening, but all you need is to make a life for yourself when you can and give yourself the life you deserve.”
“I know, you tell me that every day almost.” Saige laughed lightly, looking up at Will, the man smiling charmingly at him. Saige always wondered if he was stupid for ever thinking if when he wasn’t a student, that maybe something could happen. Maybe that’s was what his body wanted. “I will.”
“Good. That’s all I want for you. It’s hard growing up like you have, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” Smiling to himself, he sighed when Will pulled up just from his house. He moved to get his bag from the back seat. “Oh wait, I got a band you need to listen too, you’ll like them a lot I think!”
Saige hadn’t turned around or moved when Will reached over him to the glove compartment. But his body froze at the contact. Eyes down as he saw Will had paused leaning over the gear box, aligned with his crotch, Saige moved to sit back down, unbuckling his seatbelt. He didn’t know what to do, what to say and ended up only sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. He couldn’t help but gasp when Will leaned down to kiss his crotch. In a moment, Will had reached over to him, his shirt pulled out from his trousers before he was unzipping them. His head spinning too quickly at what was happening, while his body was screaming out to be touched, his head was screaming to stop.
“Mr Fowler, I-”
“Shh.” Saige stared at him when he pressed his finger to his lips. He watched as Will leaned up, replacing his finger with his lips, but Saige had tried to move away. Seeing Will’s face flash with confusion for a moment. “I want to help you, okay. You’re confused and this will help.”
Only able to nod his head, Saige’s eyes were a deer in headlights, watching Will. As he moved his hands back to his trousers, Saige gasped again when his member was touched and his hand was circling his base and stroking him to full erection. Moving his hands away, Saige didn’t know what to do, his eyes fixed on his teacher, suddenly aware that he wasn’t in one of his dreams. He braced one hand on the car door when Will’s mouth had engulfed him. Letting out a shout of swear words, he didn’t know if should stop or not. That the feeling of his mouth had been the most relieving feeling he had ever felt since he first woke up with this feeling and yet, the feeling of being uncomfortable was greater. That he wasn’t sure if he did want this after all.
Shutting his eyes now, not sure what to do with himself. Feeling his member slide further into Will’s mouth, he was already feeling the build up and the tightening of his groin. Gasping and grasping at the car door and the seat with his hands, he let out a strained noise of a moan before coming into his teacher’s mouth. Eyes open wide again as he leaned over slightly in the seat, panting. Quickly pulling himself back into his pants and doing his trousers, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Will, turning to grab his bag from the back seat. In a flash and missing the way Will had tried to grab at him and make him stay for a moment, Saige was out of the car, practically running back to his house.
Fumbling with his house keys, trying to get them into the lock, his heart was racing and his body was screaming mixed emotions at him. His libido was happy, it was relieved. But yet, his mind and heart were confused. His mind was screaming at him how wrong it had been, that he shouldn’t have let his teacher do such a thing, he should have said something and not let him tell him that was it was right. His heart hurt thinking he felt used. Lead on. He was now just another one of those school kids in the news, groomed and used. Was that what was really happening here? Frustrated as he shut his bedroom door, ignoring his foster mother calling out for him, Saige let out a shaky breath, trying not to think on anything that happened. That it had happened at all. Though all he could think about was how great his mouth had felt around his cock. How amazing it felt to come like that. That night he gave himself one of the best orgasms he ever felt pulse through his body by his own hand.
Though when morning came and his foster mother’s voice flooded his door. He groaned at the thought of going to school. But the feelings in his body were still conflicting. It was waves of being uncomfortable, feeling as if he couldn’t go back and see Will. That he didn’t want to get into something he shouldn’t, something illegal and wrong. Yet, his body wanted more. All he could truly think about was how great Will’s mouth felt and how it had been what he wanted. Just not from Will. Eventually, he dragged himself from his bed however it was more of the threat from his mother if he didn’t get himself moving. She was the type of woman that would make you work even if you lost your arm and was bleeding, but she had been the first foster mother that Saige finally felt as if he belonged with. The woman had a heart of gold and four other children fostered. Plus the fact he had been living with her since he was thirteen also showed promise that he had finally found a home. Though even after two years, he was always hesitant to call anywhere home.
Saige knew he was occasionally the butt of his friend’s jokes for how shy he often was. He sometimes even stuttered his words when answering a question and blushed at any attention girls or boys alike gave him. But today, he was aware that his friends in class were staring at him worried. Saige felt sick now and words were eluding him. His body craving more touches from Will or at this rate, anyone. His groin felt tight, as if someone was pushing down on his body. His heart was conflicted. That he knew he had a crush on Will, why wouldn’t he? The teacher was good looking and mature. He had wet dreams over the thought of having the man take him. He just never expected that it could actually happen. Now he was just scared that it could become reality.
He shouldn’t be naive. Yet, it wasn’t about if he could avoid Will. But the thought of reporting him or even mentioning what happened made him even want to throw up. Giving him more confusion over what was right and what was wrong. Was he in the wrong? Had he said something to Will? Had he even lead his teacher on? Was he being groomed? Why did he just let him touch him? Why didn’t he say something?
Last period was IT. Saige almost had gone to the nurse, even his friends telling him he should think about going home, he knew he was looking paler than usual. He couldn’t focus and he wasn’t hungry. He didn’t want to talk to anyone today, as much as he didn’t want to sit and stay in his head, it was all he felt he could do today. He felt stupid for how shaky his body was now, the thought of seeing Will made his knees turn to jelly and yet made him want to hit the man for even touching him. And that was all he felt in that moment the class was called into the room. Anger. Taking his seat at the back of the class with his friends, he took shallow breaths, trying to keep his temper down. He felt every moment that Will was looking at him and Saige couldn’t bring himself to look up at the man without fearing he was going to scream at him.
He almost did when he heard the man call his name at the end, telling him to stay behind. Taking a deep breathe, he made his way to the front of the classroom, leaning against his desk as Will was sat in his chair looking up at him, waiting for the rest of the students to leave. Hearing the door shut after the last one, Saige had his arms folded over his chest, teeth in their usual perch in his bottom lip.
“Saige, you know why I’ve called you behind. Please, let me explain-”
“What is there to explain?” Saige found himself snapping at him. “You’ve wrecked my head and I don’t know what to do now.”
“Listen to me.”
“No, why the fuck should I? How dare you do that to me! I could get you arrested.”
“Saige, calm, keep your voice-”
“No!”
Saige stepped back as Will stood up now, for a moment stunted in surprise when Will grabbed his wrist and pulled him to his body. Staring up at the taller man, his eyes wide, Saige was quieted.
“I said; listen to me, Saige.” Pushed back against the desk now, his head was spinning with Will’s hand still on his wrist. The elder man leaned in closer to him, all Saige could focus on was the warmth of his body against his, the way the men smelt and how intoxicating it all was. But still, he knew he should stop this. He should push him away and tell someone what he was doing. He wanted this so badly yet he didn’t want it at all. “I don’t know what the hell you are doing to me. Why you have affected me like this? I know this is wrong, how wrong it is, but all I can think about is you. I want to look after you and care for you, be what you need.”
“Mr Fowler-”
“Will, for heaven's sake. Call me Will.”
“Will… I don’t know if I want this… If I want you.”
Saige’s voice was small as he looked up at him, feeling as if his throat was closing. His heart was pounding in his chest as he kept his eyes on Will’s face. Not even sure how he could keep his eyes on him. He wanted his words to ring truth with himself, yet he only found himself connecting to Will telling him that this was wrong. He was fifteen, why the hell did he need someone to look after him? He didn’t need anyone else.
His eyes flicked away from the man when he felt his fingers brush against his cheek. Sighing softly, he shut his eyes at the sight of the man leaning in further. Almost jumping when he pressed his lips to his gently. Saige was sure his legs were shaking and if not for being against his desk, he would have fallen. Will’s hand was on his wrist while his other rested on his neck.
“Yes, you do. Don’t be afraid of what could be Saige.” Keeping his eyes shut as he listened to him, he was startled, letting out a small noise when his legs were grabbed and he was sat on the edge of the desk. “We’re good for each other. I’ll help you.”
For once, he was at a loss for words. Not sure how to reply to him, but Saige didn’t realise how trapped he felt by Will. That he felt as if there was no reason to deny him. As he was kissed again, it became a decision his body took for him not to move, not to bother saying anything. As Will let go of his wrist, he felt his hand move down to his thigh. His eyes staying shut as he felt Will’s lips move across his cheek. He let out the smallest of gasps as his lips pressed against his neck. His body alight with small surges of excitement and yet his mind was washing him with anxiety and the need to run away.
The gentle kisses to his neck brought soft moans from his throat, his hand feeling hotter on his thigh as he felt it move up. Jumping only slightly from the resistance of opening his eyes when he felt his belt grabbed. Not sure what he was doing in a moment of self made naivety, his mouth opened slightly, hands grabbing at the edge of the desk. Listening to the sound of his belt being undone, his eyes finally opened when he was pulled closer, his thighs spread and his teeth started to press into his neck. His nerve endings felt on fire when his trousers were pulled open and Will lifted him slightly to pull them and his boxers down to his thigh. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Will’s face, biting on his lip, his eyes were elsewhere. On the ceiling, the whiteboard next to them, the desks on the other side.
Though his eyes shut again when Will’s hand wrapped around his erect member. Not even surprised that the suspense and anticipation got him hard, that whatever the hell it was that drove his sex drive through the roof, it was getting happy and satisfied again. He sighed at the feeling of his hand moving up his shaft, not even aware anymore that he wasn’t kissing at his neck. What Will was doing, not till his mouth was around the head of his member. Saige couldn’t stop the noise that came from him. A soft moan, vaguely aware of the fact he was still in school, he was in a classroom getting blown by his teacher. He couldn’t over the feeling, how good his mouth felt. How hot and wet and inviting it felt, even more as he felt Will take more of him again. This time not getting overworked by the suddenness, this time he could last and enjoy it.
With a few deep breaths, Saige felt himself start to come undone. Seeing Will could tell as the man sucked harder and Saige finally found himself looking down at the man. Staring as the man stayed in place when he came. Saige bringing his finger to his mouth and biting on it to avoid making too much noise. Letting out a shuddering breath when Will stepped away from him. Saige leaned over himself trying to catch his breath, trying to calm down the emotion going through his body. The pleasure that was numbing his body, the pain his chest that he had let this happen again and his brain trying to convince him that nothing was wrong.
He jumped slightly when his cheeks were cupped and Will’s lips were back against his. Practically falling against the man’s chest as he hugged him, feeling his hand gripping him at his neck.
“You’ll be legal at the end of the year in the eyes of the law, and we can work this out between us. Saige, I need you, I want you. And I know you want me, you’re just afraid to admit it because I’m your teacher. We can be together.”
Saige didn’t get time to reply before Will was bringing his face back up to kiss him again. Not sure what to even say to him, Saige gave him the smallest of smiles for now as an answer. Though the nagging voice in the back of his head was telling him what he should say to him.
*
// Few weeks later.
Saige sometimes wondered if he was just in too deep now. If that was the reason why he stayed in this relationship with Will. Admittedly, he still had moments of great uncomfort with the man. That sometimes there was just something that made him want to run away and hide. Yet, his desires and the way he touched him always brought him back. What he said always brought him back to him. Like moments like this. Sitting in Will’s house, huddled up on his sofa watching the latest horror film with him while his foster mother thought he was at a friends. Will’s hand gently rubbing his neck as Saige had grown to associate with Will as a sign of affection. He did during school times, subtly as he walked past him in class often.
But now they were a secret. Saige almost laughed at himself at times. He was a dirty little secret. He was having a relationship, underaged and with his teacher. They went out on dates to the next town over, Saige stayed behind after class and they touched each other. He’d lie to his foster mother and tell him he was at a friends but he was here having dinner. But this time he had gone one step further and told her he was staying over someone’s house. Saige’s naivety still being his downfall, not realising that Will had been pushing him back into a corner again to make him lie to her.
He squealed playfully when Will grabbed at his hips and pulled him in for a hug. Sighing as the man nestled his way between his legs, leaning down and pressing his lips to his. Saige leaned up into the man, his hands resting at his waist. Knowing he was just kidding himself in times like this. Thinking they were simple, normal couple. That he wasn’t underage, he wasn’t a student and dating his teacher. That times like this, when Will was cuddling up to him and loving, Saige almost wanted to admit that he was happy.
“You know why I wanted you to stay over finally?”
Saige hummed as he looked up at Will looking a little confused. The man smiling brightly at him as he kissed his cheek.
“No, but I guess you’re gonna tell me?”
“Tomorrow is Valentine's day and of course, I want to spend with the boy who is slowly but surely capturing my heart.”
“Oh how romantic. What, are we gonna sneak around in the next town over again?”
Saige replied sarcastically to the man. Though part of him couldn’t help it, how his attitude was at times. That Will was alway so optimistic about this relationship and then wondered why he was always so unsure. Saige had considered that he’d be better off trying to break this off and move on, but every time he considered it, it felt like Will knew. That Will was already waiting to whisper more sweet nothing in his ear that made him change his mind. Part of Saige knew quickly that he hated hearing Will talk to him about his feelings.
Though, it was clear his comment had annoyed Will. He saw the small flare of anger in his eyes before it was quickly gone. The man smiling again as he leaned down and kissed him.
“No… Saige, I want to send a day with you here. Cook you dinner, treat you all nice and lovely.”
“Then drop me home to my foster mother?”
“Stop it.”
Saige looked away from him when Will snapped at him. Knowing he pulled those words on him more than once, but for him, it was just simply a reminder of the fact he was still only a teenager. He was still his student and being here in his home, while pretending to be elsewhere was stupid and wrong of them both.
“You don’t think I know, Saige? How wrong this is? Yet, here we are, happy and together. We can’t be perfect, but one day we will.”
He couldn’t help but shut his eyes feeling his fingers trace along his neck, a shiver running through his body. There was always something about the way Will touched him. He was so delicate and careful, Saige found himself almost whining at the way he touched him. Will had the power to satisfy him and yet completely and utterly turn him into a lusting mess.
“I’m sorry, it’s so crazy to think this is happening sometimes.”
Saige’s voice was small and quiet as he looked up at Will again. The man’s face was soft and loving, enough that it made Saige’s stomach flip but not from butterflies. He didn’t know what it was.
“I really want to give you a special Valentine's.”
“Yeah?”
Saige’s smile grew as he looked up at him, he could see something was on Will’s mind that he wanted to say. He let his fingers slowly move along the man’s waist, laughing lightly when he leaned in and gave him another kiss.
“Do you… Think you’re ready?”
For a moment, his breath stopped. As one of his Will’s hands still stroked his neck, his other was resting on his hip. Opening his mouth, he didn’t know what to say. What to say without lying to some part of himself. His body wanted it, his body was screaming for it. Every time they fooled around and Will did press his fingers into him, he was practically crying at the thought of having sex finally. But rationally, it wasn’t a case of being ready but that he knew he just didn’t want to have his first time with Will.
“I don’t know.”
Was all he could reply, surprised when Will was still smiling at him. The man moved off of him, standing up now and urging him to stand too. His hand pulled into his, Saige frowned confused as he was practically dragged into the hallway of his home. In a flash, Will’s lips were pressed back against his, hand on his neck while the other was back on his hips. Two places where he was surprised he didn’t have grooves from his fingers just yet.
Saige sighed through his nose, hands resting on Will’s waist. Almost not in control of his body anymore at the feeling of his tongue pushing past his lips and into his mouth. Feeling his tongue tease his own, he leaned more into the man. He couldn’t help but pull away from him, staring up with a small gasp escaping his lips as Will’s hand brushed over his crotch. Gently cupping his member, he saw the seductive smirk on Will’s lips. Feeling his knees weaken as his heartbeat increased, he could feel his blood flow shift downwards.
“Yes, yes you do.”
Saige didn’t say anything to him, just smiled when Will took his hand again, leading down down the hallway and to the stairs. It wasn’t Saige’s fault he didn’t see everything that Will was trying to hide from him and the extent he had gone to it. That all the photographs from the wall and sides were gone and hidden. Any female or touches of a child were gone from sight and Will hadn’t worn his wedding ring since the moment he had laid his eyes on Saige. A wife that was part of a cruise ship entertainment crew, she was often gone for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes taking their son or leaving him with the mother-in-law. It was far too easy for Will to switch his emotions off for her and focus on Saige.
It was all he could ever think about. Saige flooded his mind every moment of the day, ever since he saw him and found himself attracted to the boy. He had to try and get to know him. When the boy was best in the class, it made it all too easy. Praising him every moment he got, giving him constant feedback and confidence to come and talk with him. When Saige had started to open up to him, enough that he trusted him to talk about sexuality, Will knew there was no turning back now. He needed Saige, he had to have him. He was intoxicating. Will didn’t know what it was, the boy was gorgeous there was no denying that. He couldn’t wait to see what he was going look like as he matured. He hoped after this night, it would make him his.
Saige was quiet, walking up the stairs behind him. When he opened his bedroom door, his heart was pounding in his chest before he followed him in. For a second, stunned at the sight. Staring at the bed covered in rose petals, the light scent of rose even in the air. The smile pulled at his lips as Will cupped his cheek and pressed his lips to his. Grabbed at his hips, Saige jumped with a small squeal, wrapping his legs around Will’s waist before the man laid him down on his bed. Will’s face bright with excitement, Saige couldn’t help but mirror it, feeling his heart pounding in his chest.
Even with Will, it had never felt like this before. When Will kissed him, took his time to undress him, to admire him and cherish his body, Saige wanted to hide at the feeling it gave him. In his mind, he was still unsure but now convinced it was simply too late to stop and unfair on Will, the feeling it was giving his body was worth it. That the fire inside his body that had been stirred up was slowly getting put out.
Sighing happily as Will’s mouth moved over his member, when he stopped, he looked down at him, seeing he was clearly thinking. Saige sat up slightly, on his elbows, biting on his lip as he looked at him.
“Turn over and prop your rear in the air, okay?”
Saige nodded his head, doing what he said, keeping his eyes on him and realising quickly that the man was reaching over to the bedside table for lube and a condom. His stomach lurched at the sight and realisation. That he was about to lose his virginity to his teacher, a man who was well over ten years older than him, a man he wasn’t even sure if he could convince himself that he was going to fall in love with.
He jumped at the feeling of coldness. Feeling his finger press between his cheeks and against his entrance, Saige hide his face in his arms, gasping slightly as Will gently pressed his finger inside him. Cursing gently, feeling his head lighten, he was biting on his arm when he felt him already press another finger into him. It was a strange mix of pleasure and slight pain in his body, as Will moved his fingers, gently stretching him, working at his muscle. He could feel himself start to relax more. Not even realising for a second, he was starting to press back against his fingers. Only when he heard Will chuckle, he realised he was gasping for breath at the pleasure that was taking over now, that there was a thin line of sweat on his forehead.
“You’re so beautiful, all for me.” He heard Will whisper before the man moved. The bed shifting slightly as if it was physically making his stomach shift. Biting at his arm again, he tried to make himself relax more, when Will’s hands moved over his waist and down to hips, before he felt him grope at his butt. For a moment, Saige almost did finally do what his gut was telling him. To turn around and stop this. To tell him that he didn't want this. But as he felt Will’s cock rub against his entrance, Saige’s reaction became involuntary. Moaning at the feeling, the desire in his body. His body seemed alight again, the feeling he had been trying to get rid off and satisfy only grew more till the moment that he felt Will’s cock press into him. “Oh fuck.”
Saige’s face was frozen. His breath was caught in his chest, his hands gripped at the bed sheet. His mouth frozen open, as he felt Will’s cock slowly press into him. Into his body, he finally let out a noise. Whining and groaning at the way he was stretched, the way it burned and felt as if he was being torn. He shook his head, trying to gasp for breath but the pain wouldn’t let him. He could feel his legs start to shake from it, the uncomfortable pain that didn’t end. Will’s hand gripped at his hip tightly. Saige felt trapped again, but this time Will had taken what he wanted from him.
“You’re so tight, fuck, I should have prepared you more.”
Only whimpering in reply to the man, Saige’s face was bright red. Trying to press himself into the duvet, he only recalled what his friends had said about their first times. It always hurt, it was always uncomfortable at first. It would pass, it would be okay. Will wouldn’t purposely hurt him. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He wouldn’t go to this effort, to cover the place in petals and show him he cared.
“I’m gonna start moving, really slowly okay. Help you get used to the feeling.”
“No, wait.”
Saige snapped back at him and had reached back to try and stop him, but Will didn’t. Instead, his hips were grabbed as Will was determined to start thrusting shallowly into him. Gasping for air now, his hand that had reached for Will, was back grabbing at the bed sheet. Clenching his teeth and trying to think of anything else but the burning pain in his rear. He was sure he had never put this much focus into something else in his life, trying to get through the pain, waiting for the moment it would fade. Yet, he only felt Will push himself further inside him and harder.
Groaning again, what finally broke the pain was feeling Will’s hand move over his stomach. Move down his chest to slowly stroke his member. Not even realising that he wasn’t even hard anymore, it was when Will finally stopped moving his hips for a moment and kept stroking him that Saige found himself finally finding pleasure. This time pushing his hips back against Will, he finally moaned at the feeling when he thrusted his hips again. Something within his body screaming out in pleasure at the feeling. That all along, this had been what he needed to stop the cravings, the pain, not feeling human.
He wasn’t hiding his face anymore in the bedsheet, thrusting back gently onto Will when he could, moaning at the feeling of his hand on his member. Saige was practically lost to the feelings of bliss in his body. The quenching of whatever it was that had been there since he was thirteen and yet, it was more than just that. It was being with Will, the way the man held him and whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Even if Saige was still far too naive and young to see what the man was really doing to him, Saige was convinced in this moment, this was what he wanted.
He whined when Will pulled out but he man was quick to flip him over, grabbing his hips and pulling him back down to him. Saige tried to catch his breath, looking up at him, watching as the man pulled off the condom he had on. Leaning over him, Saige moaned as the man had his hand back around his member and his own. Reaching out, he grabbed onto the man’s shoulders, his head light before his back arched and he came. Coming over his chest, Saige felt his body shake, the pleasure taking a hold of him, not even sure if he was moaning or shouting. His head back against the bedsheet before hearing Will give a shout before feeling him release on his chest and try to catch his breath.
Saige sighed, lying back, his body spent in that moment. Yet, for a moment, he couldn’t believe the likening feeling of peace that washed over his body. He finally felt the urge, the craving and desire gone. It was finally gone and it felt fucking great. Smiling to himself, he shut his eyes for a moment, listening as Will moved around the room. Not sure what to do with himself or if he should even bother moving at all. He jumped, gasping lightly when he felt a wash cloth on his body, looking slightly flushed as Will laughed. Cleaning up his chest before he made a move to pull the duvet from under him. Saige shifting to allow him to do it. Suddenly he felt himself start to tense again slightly. As Will got in the bed with him, Saige felt the uncomfortable nagging in his body come back.
Pulled to his chest as he laid down. Saige laid his head on his chest, Will’s arm coming up around his shoulder and yet, his fingers still could stroke and touch at his neck like he always did. For a brief second, the overwhelming urge to cry washed over Saige. Realising he had just lost his virginity, lost to his teacher, a much older man. Someone he didn’t love, someone he wasn’t even sure cared about him in the way he made out… Saige couldn’t fight the feeling, his hands clenched, not relaxing against Will. He was so stupid. He was an idiot. Yet, he was sure still, somewhere in his mind that he did want this. As Will kissed him goodnight on the forehead, Saige wasn’t sure when he eventually drifted off to sleep.
//
All his friends constantly commented on the fact he was getting quieter than usual. But for Saige, he had a stupid fear if he got into too casual of conversation that he’d accidentally mention Will. Will was the last thing he constantly wanted to think about and have on his mind. Will only made him regret more and more even talking to the man on a personal level. That he’d even gave him one ounce of his trust, enough that he lost his virginity to him. Yet, as soon as those thoughts flooded his mind, he couldn’t help but be reminded of how nice it felt when Wil held him, when he would cook him dinner or buy him something sweet. That Will always knew what to do or say to make him feel better. Now though, Saige knew he wanted what he had with Will just with someone else. Someone his age, someone he could just have fun with and not feel so wrong.
And well, there was someone Saige did find himself growing close too in his friend group. A boy named Ryan. That since had come out to them, him and Ryan had grown closer and Saige knew he was being flirted with. But every time they were out and around in school for lunch or sat next to each other in class his phone was quickly blown up by Will. Asking if he wanted to come over for dinner, if he wanted to go see a movie, if he wanted to stay behind after class with him. The worst time was when Will sent him dick pictures or a picture of them together. Asking why he wasn’t thinking of him, when he was happy with him. When he could give him what he wanted. It had only been two weeks since Valentines, and Saige felt now that he was truly owned by Will.
It was hard to avoid him at times. The man always texted him when he was out on his own or especially when he was with Ryan. He had tried not to ever tell Will too much about what he was doing if he could be with Will. Usually telling him he had a meeting with a social worker or something with his foster family couldn’t be argued with. But slowly it was getting to Saige. That he had to lie to a man, his teacher. A man who was convinced they could be in a relationship and had once convinced him of him. Saige knew it was all wrong now, when he felt too afraid to even mention the idea of ‘breaking up’, he knew it was too late to change anything that had happened. Not without going to someone about Will, telling the head teacher what he was doing, telling the police… Saige wholeheartedly wanted to avoid that.
The moment he knew he had to try and get away from Will was almost the day he did go to the police. Sitting in his home like he did on average every other weekend. He had been minding his own business, watching some TV show Will liked, his hand stroking at his neck as usual before Will cleared his throat, trying to get his attention. Saige watched as he took his phone out and pulled up a picture. Unable to breathe, he stared at it, suddenly not feeling as if he existed in his body. Fear overwhelming him before hearing Will asking him to explain. Staring at the picture of him from the other week, out with Ryan in the town, Ryan had kissed him. Saige had been happy about it. Saige had held his hand home and even begged him to stay for dinner.
But how could he explain himself? That he wanted to be with Ryan, he wanted to be without this stupid commitment to his teacher. He couldn’t say anything, instead, his jaw grabbed and he was forced to look at Will.
“After everything I’ve done for you? Saige, do you not care about me?”
And God, how he wished he had the confidence and bravery to be honest with him. Instead, Saige smiled at him. At least, he did hoping it would stop him when he moved his hand to his neck.
“Of course I care about you. I’m sorry Will.”
Saige lied through his teeth to him, enough to satisfy the man. Yet, the next time at school, he had noticed the effort Will had gone to make sure that Ryan wasn’t in any of his classes anymore and constantly got put into detention. Yet, while all his friends gushed over how cute he’d be with Ryan, he ended up spending more and more breaks and lunches in Will’s classroom. Just how the man wanted.
//
He knew he needed to do something, anything now. Feeling alienated from his friends, Will had just how he wanted him. Alone and yet still pretending everything was fine and happy. But Saige hated it sometimes. That there were days when Will was incredibly sweet to him, that he made him laugh and treated him like he was precious to him. But that didn’t overweight the days when he felt trapped, back into a corner and forced to stay at his home and not even allowed his phone in case he spoke to someone other than his foster mother. Now, he was becoming worried about what was going on when he hadn’t agreed to stay at Will’s one night, yet he woke up the next morning in his bed as if that was the most normal occurance of his life.
Saige had done what he did most nights. Now the Easter holidays, it was two weeks for Will to constantly harass him and still alienate him from everything he knew. He had protested today that there was no way that he was staying over Will’s. His only problem was he was running out of excuses to not stay over. That he couldn’t keep saying he had to help his foster dad with something, that he had a social worker meeting. And he didn’t dare see what happened if he mentioned seeing friends. But tonight, Will seemed to have agreed that he would drive him home later on. Saige wasn’t sure if he believed him but Saige wasn’t to know about what he was putting in his drink. That it was worse than the fact Will was forcing him to drink alcohol with him.
At first, drinking alcohol had been a stupid teenage thing. That he could do such a thing and not get in trouble, but Will had taken it one step too far. That it was all Will did. Took what he had enjoyed and took it one step too far. As he made dinner for him and placed down a glass of vodka and mixer for him. Saige had smiled at him as if he appreciated it.
Though after drinking and eating, Saige realised how heavy his eyes felt. Suddenly he was struggling to stay awake, to stare at the TV and keep his focus. Shaking his head, he looked at Will.
“Will, je ne me sens pas bien.”
Saige didn’t even realise that he was speaking French. Only saying what was on his mind and with the fact he still thought in French, he was surprised he didn’t speak French more by accident. Though seeing Will look at him confused, he only looked confused back at him.
“Was that French?”
“Je suis Français... à moitié.” Laughing before he groaned, he put his head in his hand. Rubbing his eyes. “Pourquoi suis-je fatigué? Pouvez-vous me ramener chez moi?”
“I don’t know what you’re saying, Saige.”
“Je veux aller à la maison.”
He whined, moving to look at Will. Still trying to fight how tired he was, sighing when Will held his neck. He couldn’t even suppress a shiver through his body when Will shushed him, pressing his lips to his neck. Staring at the man, eventually he gave into his body. Shutting his eyes, he was asleep.
Will waited, he knew how long it would take from a trial he did the other day. Making sure his body could cope, that he wouldn’t have a reaction or bad effect to the drugs. In Will’s mind, he saw nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all with what he was doing. All he saw was just making sure Saige was his. Gripping the boy’s face, he slapped him gently on his cheeks to make sure he was fully asleep before he reached for his phone in his pocket, almost sorry for how easy it was to text his foster mother and have Saige for the night.
Text sent, the man stood, grabbing at the boy’s waist, putting him over his shoulder before carrying him upstairs to his room. Trying to calm the sadistic smirk on his lips.
//
The next day when he woke up at Will’s, the pain in his groin was overbearing. His rear was throbbing with pain and feeling as if someone had punched his gut. And for once, it wasn’t because of lack of sex. He couldn’t explain it, only getting more distressed the first time he had gone to the bathroom and seen the traces of blood on his thighs. Trying to rationalise it all in his head. He only knew Will did something. That’s why he was tired, that was why he woke up here, that was why he hurt and he couldn’t say anything. He just didn’t want to admit it. He had never been more afraid in his life. That he was afraid he would never get away from Will or there would always be a part of him that would convince himself to stay.
//
Saige didn’t know why today of all days, Will was blowing up his phone. He could only guess it was probably because his friends were determined to see him more and have him hanging out with them again, Ryan had told him that he missed him and today was the only day he didn’t have a class with Will. With his friends, it had also been the first day since the first time he was with Will, over two months ago that he felt almost normal. Joking and laughing, he was happy with his friends to pretend nothing was wrong.
But his phone was still going off. Eventually getting it taken away in class when he accidentally forgot to turn his ringtone off. He was almost thankful for that, but knew Will would get pissy with him later over it. For the rest of the day, he thought nothing over it. Glad to have nothing to distract him and for once, could focus on his friends. Though towards the end of the day, when the school counselor came in and called him out of class, he couldn’t help but frown, following her out.
As he was led out, he realised quickly they were going towards the deputy’s office. Feeling his mouth dry as he was taken in, the counselor sat him down before the desk before she leaned back on it. Saige’s stomach dropping when she was handed his phone with a worried look on her face. He was trying not to panic, not to be sick or even pass out.
“You know that we don’t mean to pry into your business, but due to your circumstance we can’t afford to ignore any calls or messages you get. Especially in this succession…”
Saige didn’t even realise he wasn’t breathing, looking at the counselor, seeing she was struggling for words. What to say to him or ask him.
“Saige, how do you know Mr Fowler? What is the nature of your relationship?”
He could barely feel a thing, he had never felt so numb in his life. Staring at her as she showed him his phone. Will sending him a picture of them together, when they actually seemed like a perfect couple. A comment about being better for him than Ryan. But he knew what else they might have seen if they scrolled up. That there were plenty of times that he had been persuaded to take indecent pics that he regretted deeply.
Saige couldn’t speak to them, that for so long, he had wanted this to come to light. For someone to know and get him out of this relationship. Now it was out in the open, he couldn’t speak or say anything, a fear in the back of his mind about Will. A stupid fear that he couldn’t fight.
“Anything you say here, doesn’t have to go beyond this room. This can stay between us or go to a higher power, only if you want it too.”
His eyes flicked to the deputy head, looking at her, seeing the sympathy on her face. It was so clear in her eyes it almost hurt to look at her. But Saige still couldn’t bring himself to speak, that he wanted to tell him exactly what he wanted. He wanted Will out of his life and to be left alone now. That was all he wanted and he finally had the chance to have that. Shaking gently in the seat, he felt the tears breach his eyes, trying to force himself to say something. When only a weak noise escaped him, he covered his mouth embarrassed.
“Can April be here, I need her?”
Finally he managed to speak. Finding it the only thing he wanted in that moment, he wanted to talk to his foster mother. The only foster mother he had actually felt close with, that he considered himself forming a bond with. After living with her for almost three years, he knew she had been the only person to notice his little mannerisms that he had formed from being with Will. She noticed he was quieter, she noticed that he was becoming skittish around others. It was the only time he felt bad for lying about what was happening when she asked.
“Of course, sweetie.”
In a moment, he was told she was on her way. Trying to keep the flood of tears that was waiting to spill over. Taking his phone back and looking at all the messages Will had sent to him. The pushy demanding ones, the loved up ones, the ones that Saige had turned a blind eye too. Eventually when April had come, Saige wasn’t sure if it did make him feel any better about talking about this or not. If he wanted to admit the truth or keep telling himself it was just a normal relationship. That he was happy with Will.
Looking up at the concern on April’s face, he almost did finally break down. Her hand moving over his shoulders in a soothing motion. He finally swallowed and decided to talk.
“You know, when I said I was at someone else’s house all those times? Staying over, for dinner and stuff. Especially in the holidays?” When she nodded, he looked towards the councilor. “I was at Mr Fowler’s house.”
He quickly pulled up a message on his phone that he guessed would easily explain it. One where Will had constantly gone on about when he was legal, when he was out of school and wasn’t his student anymore. That for now, nothing mattered but their happiness together. Saige handed his phone to April before she passed it over.
“Saige, what did Mr Fowler, what did he do-”
“We had sex.” He answered the councilor, shutting his eyes for the moment at the sound of April’s breathing. Feeling her grip on his shoulder tighten. “If that’s what you want to know.”
“Saige… These messages… We have to press charges against him for this. You’re underage, he’s a teacher. What if he’s done this before!?”
“What about his wife?”
“Wife?”
Saige repeated weakly, feeling the colour drain from his face. Looking between the faces of his deputy and councillor. A wife? Will had a wife? He couldn’t even rack his brain for any sources of her. No pictures, no ring, no mention. Well, obviously he hadn’t cared about her, not when he was busy with him.
“Oh god, he went that far.” He heard the deputy mutter, his body feeling more numb than it already was. As if he was truly experiencing an out of body experience. “Saige, we need to call the police and get a statement written by you. Are you okay to do that?”
“Yeah, I want too.”
He muttered weakly, sighing as April wrapped her arms around him, whispering, asking why he hadn’t told her.
//
Saige had never felt so numb in his life. He had barely felt anything since being in her office. Seeing the police and writing down everything that had happened. From the first moment in his car to the last moment he recalled. But it had only gotten worse, being told there was images of him on Will’s laptop. Ones he wasn’t aware of, that existed. He knew what he had done for Will. The man making him pose naked for him but then there was the images that even made him sick. He had a choice to know, but from waking up at Will’s when he didn’t want too and the pain the next morning, he had to see them and see what happened to him.
Part of him regretted seeing them and part of him was just glad to know the extend of what the man had done to him in a strange way. Though the way April had cried set off an anger in him that he knew would only be fulfilled if he could ever hit the man or worse, kill him. Seeing what Will had done to him while he was asleep that he found out Will admitted to drugging him, the only thing that made everything worse was the fact his body was still full to brim with desire. That no matter what he saw, from Will fucking him asleep with a dildo to seeing the man attempted to fist him, the desire was still there. No matter how much it hurt, he still needed sex.
He had barely left his room. Not allowed back at school, not wanting to even leave the house. When his bedroom door cracked open and his younger foster sibling, Jack came in. Saige put on a brave face for him, the boy coming over and cuddling his side. Seeing the film, The Aristocats held in his hands, Saige laughed ever so lightly. The sound even foreign to his throat before he urged the boy to put it on. Getting comfortable on his bed with Jack lying on him, for the first time in weeks, he could honestly say something made him feel slightly happy.
//
He wasn’t sure if for now that he could think of any way that his life could return to normal. When a friend checked on him the other day, Saige didn’t have the guts to talk to him and go about life as if nothing had gone on, thankfully April covered for him. Though finding out it was Ryan hurt slightly. That whatever could have happened with Ryan was completely out of the picture. The trial wasn’t helping. Having to sit in a courtroom and listen to Will’s defense try and paint him as some seductive minx that had lured Will in, Saige had learnt to be able to turn the numbness in his body on and off when he wanted it. Eventually he got fourteen years and put on the sex offenders register. Though Saige didn’t find himself caring that much in the end. All he cared about was being away from Will. The worst part was Will’s wife. She had screamed at him, she had attacked him. She blamed him. Apparently corrupting her perfect husband. Saige had watched as April almost got arrested for hitting her.
That night all the family sat in the living room. Saige had Jack in his lap while his foster sister was happily playing with his hair. Eventually during the day, April had told him to go wait in his room, Saige’s knees almost gave out on the stairs. He had expected to see his social worker in his bedroom waiting for him. Instead, he fell down by his wall, knees to his chest, hiding his face. Not caring anymore for feeling pathetic and weak to hide away like this.
When April came in, he didn’t look up. Seeing her sit opposite him, her hand on his shoulder.
“Now Saige, I need you to listen to me. I’m gonna upset you and I’m so sorry... You can’t stay here anymore, it won’t be good for you to stay here. You need a fresh start.”
“No, no I don’t.” Saige didn’t care anymore about not crying. Looking up at April, he couldn’t even stop the tears if he tried. “Please don’t April, please don’t.”
“Sweetheart, you can’t stay in this town. I can’t look after you anymore, it pains me to say it but I can’t give you the care you need to move forward. I can’t.”
“Yeah, you can! Please, you’re the first carer who hasn’t given me up within a year, please April. I like it here, I have friends, I have a home, I have you and Jack. Please.”
When she reached out to his face, cupping his cheeks, giving a vain attempt to wipe away his tears. Saige could feel he was shaking, terrified more than ever. That he was losing everything now, he had lost a school he enjoyed, a group of friends he actually liked, he had lost his self respect to Will and now he was losing the only home that had ever felt like he was in a family.
“I’m talking to your social worker, I have a sister who specialises in looking after kids who have been through circumstances like you… She can give you the care you need, she can make sure that you get any help you need and that you’re looked after…”
“I need you, April. I need you and Jack, I’ll be okay.”
“Sweetheart, you won’t. You can’t stay in this town, you can’t even go back to that school. I need to know you’ll be okay and that’s not here, with me. I wish I could feel that you staying here with me is the right thing, but I know it isn’t.”
“Please don’t give me away.” Saige whispered, finding himself chanting it when April pulled him to her chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he didn’t know what else to do. That his life here had been ruined over what had been a small crush on a teacher. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you dare say that word, you have nothing to sorry for, this isn’t your fault. I’m trying to do what is best for you now, even if it hurts, even if it doesn’t feel like the right decision at first. It’ll make you feel like crap and you’ll feel alone and scared again, but Saige, I need to know you’re away from here and safe. That’s why I’m trying to at least get you sent to my sister, someone familiar.” Saige was still crying, staring down at the ground as he leaned on April. “I feel like I’ve let you down and I need to do something to make it right… That I couldn’t tell, I didn’t know…”
“I wanted to tell you, but I thought it was okay. I could handle it.”
“I know, I know. He was a bastard for making you think that was normal.”
Saige sighed, finally calming down slightly. Refusing to think anymore on the fact that within a few months or even a few weeks, he would be off to another family. If he was that lucky. Leaning away from April, he rubbed at his puffy eyes, April kissing his forehead before leaving his room. Yet, he found himself breaking down again as soon as his door shut.
Not sure how time passed before it opened again, Saige seeing Jack walk in and immediately the small boy crawled into his lap. Saige didn’t know what to do to stop crying in front of the boy, seeing the concern on his face as he reached out to him, grabbing his cheeks. Saige gave him a small laugh and a smile, telling him he was okay, that everything was going to alright. Yet even when the boy went back to his room for bed, he heard him in the night come back to see him and sleep with him, promising to make him smile again. Saige had never cried himself to sleep before.
//
But quicker than he thought he was told about his new family. Even more surprisingly was finding out they lived in America. That they were able to foster him. But Saige just kept himself numb, not wanting to think on the moment Jack would realise that he wouldn’t ever come home again, if his friends would ever notice that he was gone or if they would ever know what really happened to him. Though in Saige’s mind, he was already convincing himself that everything that had happened was what he had wanted. Everything was consensual and loving. That he was the problem. That he was the problem child some had painted him to be. It was far easier to swallow.